Try a little harder, to understand a little more.

Wow! Another exciting week gone by! And once again, so much learned! This week we spent a great deal of time talking about Family Theories. So first off, a slight bit of clarification for those who may be questioning their knowledge of what a theory is exactly. A theory is an attempt to explain a phenomena. And phenomena? That is any observable event. Now, with those defined (according to Brother Williams - the most awesome teacher ever), I will quickly touch on each of the theories we talked about and then go a little deeper into the one in particular that really struck me. First theory is the Family Systems Theory. This describes the roles the individuals play in the family (peacemaker, tattletale, etc). Second is the Exchange Theory and that describes the feelings people have considering keeping "cost lower than rewards." In other words, wanting at least as much benefits to come out as the effort (time, money, etc) put into it. Third, Symbolic Interaction Theory, describes the perceptions, or trying to make sense out of people's behaviors. Lastly is the Conflict Theory, where some people have a bit more power over another.
The theory that I am most interested in is the Symbolic Interactions theory. So often people misread and assume different things about the actions of another. An example given was when a husband did the dishes for his wife. The wife assumed, through this action, that he was basically implying that she was incapable of doing things and a slob (she had never experienced having men do the dishes). The husband was actually doing the dishes because he loved his wife and wanted to help lift her burdens in any way he could. Another example was when a husband - who would get up and get ready for work before his wife - would leave the dresser drawers ajar and slightly messy. This drove the wife crazy, thinking he was doing it on purpose to drive her nuts. Come to find out, the husband was actually doing it because he didn't want to make a loud noise closing the drawers and causing her to wake up. So many people perceive the actions of others differently than the person meant them to come across, based on their own experience and knowledge. If certain actions are not talked about, these misconceptions can lead to lots of turmoil and bitter feelings, causing wedges to appear. These wedges can have a dangerous effect on relationships that can devistate family life. Hopefully we can all try to have better communication and do our best to understand others, especially the ones we are close to and have to live with. How can we do better?

It's the Little Things

So during a class discussion this week, something interesting was shared that I hadn't really thought about before. One of my fellow classmates shared a quote that roughly stated says, "So many people are willing to do things such as going to war for their children, but they aren't willing to stop the #1 thing that is hurting them...divorce." I found this to be very intriguing for a couple of reasons. First off, there are so many people that see divorce as such an easy way out. If there are just a few disagreements, suddenly they are fed up and separating themselves comes to mind. Why is that? Are people not mature enough by the time they are married to know how to solve problems and talk things over? Then possibly make some necessary changes? Second, they don't seem to realize the major effects divorce has on children. Coming from a super loving home with parents who have been married only to each other for the last 22 years, I can't say I fully understand all of what it does, but having so many close friends that come from broken families does shed some light on the subject. And I must say, it can be pretty rough. My biggest question now I guess is this: If parents really would go to war for their children, would they not be even more willing to prevent war from ever occuring in the most important place: the home? I think they don't realize the great impact the little things have on everyday life. A kind word, a gentle reminder, a friendly suggestion...Any ideas?

Day 1

So for my Family Relations class I was commanded to start up a blog. Hence, this "The Class."! I will update weekly with whatever I am inspired to write about pertaining to the class and my thoughts and feelings about what we discuss during the week. Hopefully you will be touched by something that compels you to continue reading and maybe make a change in your life. Or if you find something I write to be just that funny causing you to read solely for entertainments sake, that's fine with me too. If you don't fit into either of those categories, I apologize for any time you may feel you have wasted. Please feel free to comment (as constructively and politely as possible if you disagree on a subject) anytime and on anything. I love hearing what others have to say, and hopefully you will like what I have to say as well! And with that, I guess, welcome to The Class.!